You live a disaster
by Necrofuckup
Summary: It's funny, ain't it, when you find someone you can connect with, and then they're gone....


You live a disaster.

By Necrofuckup

- A fiction partly inspired by Jack Off Jill's Strawberry Gashes. 

Jhonen Vasquez owns Invader Zim and the characters. Jack Off Jill own Strawberry Gashes. -

"It's cancer Zim." He said. I stare at him. I don't know what this Cancer being is, but I am sure I will not let it- "And I've been told.... I don't have long... to live." What? How can Cancer do this to Dib? Will he not fight!? I ask him this. He replies no, it's already spread to his lung, and that it gives him very little time indeed. I ask what this cancer is, and he responds that it is a disease, that there is no one hundred percent cure. And that chemotherapy, then surgery are the only ways to prevent...... .....death. But it's too late for both of those, and that this is why he has been in random bouts of pain, and gone unheeded by his family. No. This isn't right. You expect me to accept this? I won't. I can't let my only friend leave, just because some stinking human disease has gone undetected. This is fucked up, seriously. I won't. You must live Dib. I tell him this, and he seems reluctant to give a shit. He leaves my home.  
  
- One month later. -  
  
I head up to his hospital room. I have learnt more this month than I have in the entire time I have festered on this dirtball. I chose to use the stairs. The elevators are always packed with humans, it makes me claustrophobic. I even vomited once. In a shopping mall, all over a human male's back, and he kicked the shit out of me. I couldn't stop laughing, through the pain. Claustrophobia on this planet, I'm surrounded by shells of beings with no emotion. And it only strikes me in elevators. Huh, life is fucked up like that.  
  
I arrive at Dib's room. It's nice. Not great. Not grand. Not decorated with scientific gadgets, or monitors, or screens connected to his father. Just nice. His sister has never visited. She won't open up to him. She's a recluse. I guess she thinks that since she never cared before, why should she now? Because he's dying, that's why you shit! I hate you Gaz, you selfish fucker, always hidden in your world, you don't even care enough to talk to him. I am the only one who has stayed and looked after him.... we both don't trust the nurses, or doctors. And his father, he didn't even try to create a cure, just worked on whatever he was working on to better mankind. Here's a wake up call, you can't save mankind Mankind is dead already. Why couldn't you even try? At least I tried.... and failed. I failed him, but I..... tried.  
  
I enter his room. His nice plain room. With a window looking out into the fetid city, what a view, and a TV, to watch what? His favourite show moved to cable. They could give him that, but no. The hospital won't charge to his father. I hate the bastards of this rotten place. His head lifts slowly. So slowly, it hurts me just to watch. He then turns onto his side to face me properly. His cover slips and his pale, sickly pale, malnourished skin shows. I still can't get used to that. If I held a candle to one side of his body, I would see through him. He's that bad. Maybe I am irrational, but the situation calls for it. I can barely even stand to keep my eyes on him, but know I must. I will do anything and everything for him. To make him comfortable. His last request, I must also fulfil. When the candle of Dib's life...... is blown out..... I must save all his ashes for him, and keep them safe with me. He wants me to keep him safe, even when I can't..... be with him truly. Tears upon my eyes. I have trouble thinking about this every time. To my knowledge, all humans would. What does that make me?  
  
Curse me. Curse me to human Hell, the place where Dib will not go. The poison that runs it's decaying course through him, making him more ill every second, making him worse, claiming him from me, is invisible against his pale white skin. Watch me fault you Dib, I could not help you. I tried, by Irk I tried. I spent every waking minute trying. In my lab, I spent all I could with samples of your blood, trying with different combinations of vaccines, genetically created by me, all of them failing, like the failure that created them. Dib, you live like a disaster. This could not have been what you were supposed to achieve. I can't understand, why you? You were incredibly smart, you could have anything that you could have wanted in education, then as a career. You were perfect, no one could see that but you, and later, me. Fuck, you could have done anything, any fucking thing! Why this, and why you!? You didn't deserve this. Others deserve this, criminals, rapists, murderers, and drug addicts. Not you. Not you..... not you.... I feel the liquid run down my skin, and I know why Irkens don't cry, it burns. It burns just like rain. Dib notices me and my tears. I speak. For the first time today, I speak to him. I'll be here all day, but now is the first time today. 

"D....Dib. I... had a dream last night." He was always fascinated with my dreams, as they were alien's dreams, so he always loved me talking about my dreams, or nightmares, when we had become friends. "...Or a nightmare." His eyes changed, and his eyebrows arched. He always understood. Even now, when he can barely speak, a simple gesture like that let's me know he cares for me. How absurd! He's the one struck down, and he cares for everyone else. He would never have had admit it a year ago, but he cared for everyone. He could have lashed out at his family, even Gaz, but he was always so caring for everyone.... His expression gives the ounce of courage to continue. "I... dreamt.... of the devil. And...... he knew you." His face tells me that he is interested, but physically tired. I continue. "He took you away" I choked out. "And I couldn't keep up, as he... ran from me.... and had you in his arms..." I hang my head suddenly, and a score of burning, acidic drops flee from my face and land on the clean, plain, nice floor. I sit on the brown chair next to the bed, and feel his weak, frail, white hand on my shoulder. He cares for me, with whatever strength he has? I turn my head and stare into his eyes, and I can almost read his mind. It's as if he tells me,

"Some... things.... you lose.... Zim..... and some things you just give away....." More burning tears, this time in a torrent, flood my green cheeks. Scold me, pain me, hate me, I failed him, I couldn't save him. Why am I so useless to you Dib. Please stay! If only I'd held on tighter to you, don't go, stay with me, please. I can feel his pale white skin, twisted and withering away from me, being torn away from me. Watch me lose him, it's like losing myself, but much much worse. Dib, please stay, just another week, so I can do anything! I'll do anything! I'll give you my soul, let them take somebody else, anybody else! You deserve better! Watch me fault you, Dib, I couldn't help you, I am Zim, the failure! Please stay! Your last moments, you lived like a disaster, this is wrong, please stay!!

Please.... Please come back............ ........ -  
  
The End  
  
- 

To those of you who think that the time it took for the news to be broken to zim at the beginning, to Dib's death at the end, is unrealistic, I assure you that when I was writing this, I wrote it as i went along. No thought before hand, just what came into my head and how I felt.

End.


End file.
